Yes! I've Written A Crime Novel Titled
NICE GIRLS DON'T BITE features two middle-aged Minnesota antiques dealers, Louise and Erleen.
Upon returning from a vacation in Romania, they discover they can't see themselves in mirrors, and wonder what the problem can be. "I don't think this is jet lag."
On the way to the Critical Care Annex to have their eyes examined, they stumble onto a bank robbery and are unharmed after being shot. Shortly thereafter, they discover they can lift cars and see in the dark. "Uh-oh. I think I know what's wrong."
Coming from Minnesota, where everyone is "nice," Louise and Erleen vow to conceal what they have become, and continue to lead normal lives. "I absolutely refuse to go all crazy and look mean and bite people!"
Soon, however, they come up against thugs, kidnappers, murderers, and a Norwegian crime lord from Minneapolis. "Ohmigosh. How can we stop them without them guessing that we're you-know-whatses."
The challenges presented by their new lifestyle---really bad breath, shape-shifting, makeup without mirrors, dining without biting, going to church---present a steep learning curve. Compared to that, wiping out a drug ring masterminded by a cold killer is easy. After all, staying alive no longer seems to be a problem.
This is not a vampire vampire book; if you know what I mean; it's a funny take on remaining "nice" despite the temptations.
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Please feel welcome to contact me; I don't bite. |
On The Web
My humor column, "Dealers Choice," appears in every issue of Minnesota's antiques newspaper THE OLD TIMES. Follow the link to read current and past columns covering the lighter side of collecting antiques. Please tell others about this web site, and visit again yourself. I will refresh it often with status reports on NICE GIRLS DON'T BITE and other literary shenanigans that I may be up to. Desire to round out your writers' conference with one more speaker? I love talking to people and I believe in giving practical advice on improving writing skills.What Else?
I have BA, BS, and MFA degrees, and am a former instructor in English and theatre. My memberships in the national and Twin Cities chapters of Sisters In Crime are rewarding, as was being Regional Vice-president of Literary Managers & Dramaturgs of the Americas. Four Southeastern Minnesota writers' groups provide me with rich support, and I am fortunate to have five alpha readers who regularly shred my efforts for my own good.Let Me Keep You In The Loop
NICE GIRLS DON'T BITE is an 80,000-word mystery, referred to as a "cozy," because the sleuths are amateurs and the story is humorous. It is currently being submitted to agents with my high hopes of representation and publication. If you would like a brief notice of when the book is published and where you can find it, please send me your email or snail mail address, and I will make sure you are notified. No salesman will call. No author will whine.